How to prepare for your second child

Welcoming a second child is a unique experience that brings its own set of emotions and challenges to the entire family. And while you may be more familiar with pregnancy and parenting, there will still be differences when expecting your second child.

Preparing for a second child involves both practical and emotional considerations, as you’re not only welcoming a new baby but also adjusting your family dynamics.

Here’s our guide to help you prepare:

Taking Care Of Your Needs

No two pregnancies are the same, and you may find yourself surprised by how different your second pregnancy is, whether that be cravings, or even how your body changes rapidly during the next 9 months!

Physical Differences

You and Your Bump - Although there is no rule book for second pregnancies, many ‘mums to be’ notice that their baby bump shows a little earlier in a second pregnancy, this is because your abdominal muscles will have been stretched from your first pregnancy and can now quite quickly adapt to a new life growing inside you.

Babies Movement - You may also feel baby move around a little earlier than in your first pregnancy, sometimes as early as 16 weeks, many experts believe that this is because after experiencing pregnancy before, your body is more attuned to what is happening as your pregnancy continues.

OUR TOP TIP – Slather your body in moisturiser or body oil, as stretch marks appear when the skin is stretched over a short period of time.

Aches And Pains - Having already gone through pregnancy once, your body may still be recovering from the changes in had to contend with last time, especially if you still have a toddler running around keeping you on your toes. So, this time around you may notice a few more aches and pains, such as back, shoulder and leg aches. Not to mention fatigue, because being pregnant and having a little one to look after can be an exhausting time. So do ask for help and rest when you can.

OUR TOP TIP – Bend at the knees when possible, to avoid back pain, and keep your legs elevated during the day when possible.

A Different Type of Labour - Now, just as we have said that no two pregnancies are ever the same, well no two labours will be the same either! So, whilst it’s good to not focus on what happened during your first labour, it is important to speak to your doctor or gynaecologist about any issues that did arise, such as having a C-Section, stitches, pre-eclampsia or gestational diabetes and they will adjust your visits and treatment based on your specific needs.

Many second-time mums experience a shorter labour, which is often easier too because your body has been through the process before. However, every pregnancy, labour and delivery are unique so be prepared for anything, rather than remembering and comparing how it was last time.

Postpartum Recovery – this really will depend on the type of delivery you’ve had and your overall labour experience. Maybe it’s because they’ve done it before, but many mums find recovery is slightly quicker in second and subsequent pregnancies, or maybe this is simply because there is now a newborn and older child at home that needs your care and attention!

Mental And Emotional Wellness

Your second pregnancy will be very different to your first pregnancy, for starters back then, the focus was mostly on you and how you were feeling, remember managing symptoms like tender breasts, morning sickness, fatigue and mood swings. This time you will almost certainly still have to manage these symptoms but with the added strain of taking care of your first born, often leaving you will little time to focus on how you’re coping with this pregnancy.

Chat to other mothers who have more than one child so you can pick-up on tips they found useful.

OUR TOP TIP- Don’t skip meals, a diet rich in iron will keep your energy levels up as you manage taking care of a toddler during pregnancy. And if your child still has an afternoon nap, take one too!

• Talk about the new baby growing inside you, use age-appropriate language so they can understand why your body is changing and what to expect in the future. Keep these chats short, making sure they understand what’s happening, but do not feel that everything is about their new sibling!
• Get them involved in the preparations for the new baby, setting up the nursery, sorting through their old baby clothes and choosing the ones they are happy for you to re-use, maybe even take them shopping to choose a toy they would like to give as a gift to their new sibling.
• You can find lots of great children’s books that you and your child can read through that prepare them for becoming a big brother or sister and they will love sitting with you as you read about the adventures you will be experiencing together as a family.
• If your new baby is going to share a room with their older sibling, be sure to create a special area in the room just for them and allow them to have input into the decorations.
• Once your baby has arrived, you may be surprised at the range of emotions your toddler expresses, one moment sheer joy that they have a new sibling, turning quickly to anger or frustration when the focus is no longer solely on them. It’s a huge time of adjustment for any child when a baby comes home, so be patient, rather than focus on the negatives, try to change the conversation over to something they like to do or watch, so they do not see the new baby as a threat.
• Getting help from your partner, family or friends is vital during these first few months and whilst it’s often the case that others will only too gladly take your first-born out to give you and the new baby a rest, don’t forget they need some one-on-one time too. So, ask for help looking after the baby so and your older child can do something that’s just the two of you, make this a regular thing so they have something to look forward to.

Practical Decisions

A new baby brings with it so many new aspects to family life, routines will almost certainly change as you all ensure life at home runs smoothly. This is the time to ask for help, and when a postnatal plan comes into action, especially around childcare whilst you’re in hospital. Plan and prep meals in advance or ask family members to help with this so you can establish a routine that will work with two children.

You may need to check your finances too, especially if you plan to take maternity leave, check out your employer’s maternity policy and chat through what they offer and what their expectations are for you.

Also, look at healthcare and insurance if you have it, and see if the new addition to your family is covered.

If your child is ready for daycare or school around the time your second baby is due to arrive, try to make this transition for them before the baby is born so they do not feel they are being pushed out.

Babies take up a lot of space, as do toddlers so it’s a good idea in your second and third trimester to have a reorganisation and decluttering session.

Time to also consider what larger items you now need to double-up on, such as car seats, baby monitors and cots.

Preparing for your second child is a big step for everyone, but with thoughtful planning and the support of others you can make this transition effortlessly as you add to your growing family.

Be mindful of giving your first child attention and affection, as they may need reassurance during this transition and whilst it can be difficult to manage a hectic routine, savour those special moments between your new baby and first child, they are memories you will cherish.

We hope with our guide you’re feel well-equipped to handle whatever comes your way as you embrace the journey with the knowledge that your experience as a parent is growing, and you’re strengthening your bond as a family.