Puberty can be an exciting yet overwhelming time for our children. They’re juggling emotional changes, school pressures, friendships, and even the challenges of social media—all while trying to understand themselves better. As parents, we want to support them in navigating these changes with confidence and reassurance.
Puberty is a time of huge changes, and it can be just as confusing for parents as it is for kids. One minute, your child is happy and talkative, and the next, they’re frustrated, withdrawn, or overwhelmed by emotions they don’t fully understand.
The emotional ups and downs of puberty are not just attitude or drama—they’re a real biological response to rapid changes happening in their body and brain.
Hormones can make even small things feel overwhelming, and sometimes they react before they even understand why they’re upset.
You may notice:
They might not always know how to express their emotions, which can lead to tears, outbursts, or shutting down.
This is where we, as parents, can help guide them with patience, reassurance, and boundaries.
One of the hardest things about parenting through puberty is not taking their moods personally. It can hurt when they seem distant or lash out, but most of the time, it’s not about us—it’s about them trying to figure themselves out.
Here are some ways to support them without overwhelming them:
Acknowledge their feelings – “I can see you’re feeling frustrated. That’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?” Sometimes, they just need to know that their feelings are valid.
Help them find healthy outlets – Encourage activities like journaling, art, sports, or music to help them process emotions.
Model calm responses – If we react with frustration, they will too. Staying calm (yes we know - even when it’s hard) teaches them how to manage emotions in a healthy way.
Set gentle boundaries – “I know you’re upset, but we still need to treat each other with respect.” Their feelings are real, but that doesn’t mean they can say or do anything they want.
Give them space while staying available – Sometimes they need time to cool off before they’re ready to talk. Let them know you’re always there for them, no matter what.
Puberty doesn’t just change how they feel about themselves—it also changes their relationships.
Your child needs to feel loved and accepted, but they also need structure and security. Boundaries actually make them feel safe, even if they resist them at times.
It’s okay to say:
“I love you, but I won’t allow disrespect.”
“I understand you need space, but we still have family expectations.”
“I know this feels really hard right now, but I promise it won’t last forever.”
These conversations don’t have to be lectures. Often, the best time to talk is when they feel safe and comfortable—maybe on a drive, during a quiet moment before bed, or while doing something together.
This phase of life won’t last forever, even if it sometimes feels like it will. The moods will settle. The difficult days will pass. And one day, they’ll look back and realise how much you loved them through it all.
You don’t have to have all the answers. Just being there—listening, loving, and guiding them—makes all the difference.
And even when they don’t say it, you can be sure they're grateful for you and all you do.
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Discover the tell-tale signs that your daughter is starting puberty and learn how you can offer support through these changes.
Signs Your Daughter Is About To Start Her First PeriodTalking to your daughter about puberty can feel a little awkward and one of the first chats you will have will most likely be about first bras and breast development.
When Will My Daughter Need Her First Bra?With hormones, social pressures, and academic stress, it’s natural for teens to experience mood swings and emotional struggles. Here’s how you can help.
Understanding And Supporting Your Teen’s Mental Health
Mood swings during puberty are caused by hormonal changes, brain development, and the emotional challenges of growing up. Teens and even pre-teens are learning how to navigate independence, friendships, school stress, and self-identity—all at once. It’s not personal, and it’s usually not a sign of a bigger issue.
It’s common for teens to withdraw, especially when they feel overwhelmed. They may worry about being judged or misunderstood. Our advice is to avoid forcing conversations—talk when they seem open (e.g., during car rides or while doing an activity together). Try to listen without jumping in with advice right away. Sometimes, they just need to vent. And finally, let them know you're there for them, even when they don’t want to talk.
It’s normal for teens to experience mood swings, frustration, or occasional sadness, but persistent signs of distress could indicate anxiety or depression.
Important things to watch out for are:
If you notice these signs, gently check in with your teen and consider reaching out to a school counsellor or doctor for support.
Teens crave independence even without understanding why, it's all part of their social development, but they do still need structure. Setting clear but fair boundaries helps them feel safe while learning responsibility. Try involving them in discussions about rules so they feel heard, and explain why these rules are important for the family, rather than saying "because I said so." Be consistent but flexible—adjust rules as they grow and show responsibility.
Their brain is still developing, particularly the part that controls impulse and emotion regulation. Small frustrations can feel overwhelming to them. Teach them some coping strategies like deep breathing or taking a break before reacting. And be sure to stay calm yourself—teens often mirror your emotions.
Yes! During puberty, teens start figuring out who they are, which often leads to shifts in friendships. They may drift from childhood friends or seek out new social groups.
Puberty can make teens feel awkward and self-conscious. They compare themselves to friends and celebrities and may struggle with self-esteem. Get into the habit of praising their efforts and how they handle things, not just achievements, focus on how kind they are, how helpful to others they can be, and how great they are as person.
During puberty, the body’s internal clock shifts, making it harder for teens to fall asleep early. Their bodies naturally want to stay up late (often until 11 PM or later) and sleep in the next morning. This is why waking up early for school can feel physically difficult, even if they’ve had a full night’s sleep. You can help your teen by encouraging a consistent bedtime routine and limiting screen time an hour before bed.
