Let’s talk about sex, baby! Now you’re well into puberty you may start experiencing new physical feelings and emotions, like finding yourself attracted to that certain someone.
Finding yourself being drawn to someone is called ‘sexual attraction’ and is totally normal. Who knows why we feel attracted to some people and not others — it could be to do with looks, personality or whatever you think is attractive in a person — but one thing's for sure, it’s different for everyone.
We’ve all had them. Whether it’s on a friend, someone in your class, a teacher, sports coach, TV or celeb, having a crush is normal and can be exciting. As you get older, they often subside or you find you like someone else so don’t panic — you won’t feel awkward around that cute teacher forever! Your crush might even be someone of the same sex. It’s your body’s natural curiosity towards others and could be the start of your sexual preferences developing. As with any new feelings, give them time to develop, don’t rush, and remember everyone is different. Also, don’t be put off if your friends don’t get why you’re attracted to a certain person... At least you don't have to argue about which one of you they'd choose!
Try not to worry about how your crush feels about you and all the things you do; chances are they’re more occupied with trying to perfect a TikTok dance or hanging out with friends. Try to relax, be cool, but above all, be yourself. Remember, you should always try and do what makes you happy and comfortable. If they’re interested in you, they’ll want to get to know you for you! As we said, not all crushes last forever, so try to remember there will be others that you like in the future – there are lots of people out there!
You may notice new sensations in your body now and these are, again, normal! Things like spotting your crush, reading something, watching TV or a movie that shows romance or something sexual, can all make you feel a little excited in different parts of your body. Don’t worry, this is sexual arousal and it’s the physical reaction to that attraction, conjuring sexual feelings. It’s not wrong if you want to act on it but it’s worth remembering that any kind of sexual relationship with a boy or girl under the age of 16 is illegal.
It’s natural to be curious about your own body, whether you’re a boy or a girl, and how it works and feels when touched. It often results in people masturbating — when they touch their own genitalia (your “down there” bits) and might feel tingly inside. It’s both natural and instinctive, but some people are frightened by how it makes them feel and believe masturbation is wrong or harmful. It’s perfectly normal to get to know yourself but it’s totally up to you if you choose to do it or not!
One thing worth remembering with all things sexual is to not allow peer pressure to influence you, part of becoming an independent young woman is embracing your right to choose. A peer is someone of a similar age, who you might share likes and dislikes with and can be a close friend or even just someone in your class. When that relationship turns into something less fun and you feel pressured to act, think or look a different way, that’s called peer pressure and it’s not cool – especially when it comes to anything sexual. If something is not right for you, don’t be afraid to say no. And if you find that any kind of peer pressure is getting too much it’s worth having a chat with a trusted adult, guardian or parent. They will have experienced similar things at school and sometimes even at work so they’ll probably have some great puberty advice for you. Remember, you’re doing a fab job of navigating puberty and together we’ve got this!
